Lost Memories
by Amanda Yates
Summary: When Morgana finds out the true identity of Emrys she sets a plan into motion to destroy Camelot once again.


_**Summary: Morgana after knowing about the true identity of Emrys carves a plan to destroy Arthur and Camelot once more.**_

_**Warnings: M/M, a bit OOC and memory loss, established relationship Arthur/Merlin, Lancelot/Gwen, Gwaine/Merlin past.**_

_**This is my first attempt at a Merthur fic so please be kind and forgive any grammar errors folks, english ain't my first language.**_

_**Set after series 4 but Gwen and Arthur are not married and Lancelot's alive, and Arthur and Merlin are in a relationship.**_

_**Lost Memories**_

The only sounds were of crickets cheeping and a lone wolf in the woods howling as the trees waved gently. It was a new moon and no light shined down through the gaps in between the thicket of the trees as a shady figure more darker perhaps that the darkness around her walked stiffly towards the caves. Her eyes burned golden as the trees parted to give her way, she stepped into the caves as gracefully as she would if it were an asphalt floor and surveyed the dark interiors with a cruel twist of her mouth.

Morgnana chuckled deeply as she conjured a heavy cauldron out of thin air and lit a fire magically dropping the contents of her hands inside the vessel and weaving her magic as the cauldron started to bubble with its contents.

As the enchantment was finished the potion frizzed and then settled and Morgana ladled the brew into a vial and smirked, "Oh, you will never know what hit you Merlin!" and then added a piece of hair into the vial. Morgana smiled in satisfaction.

* * *

><p>Far away in the castle of Camelot, a young warlock moaned in his sleep as a golden glow covered his body and then settled leaving the warlock to sleep peacefully again. King Arthur being acutely aware of his lover and friend even in sleep pulled the thin man closer to his body subconsciously.<p>

The light dawned bright and early and Arthur groaned before opening his eyelids and groaning again before hiding his eyes with his free hand, Merlin being the girl he was wanted to have the windows open at night and after a bout of their nightly activities forgot to close them more often than not. Merlin's excuse was that he wanted the air as the room was stifling but Arthur just thought he was a romantic idiot wanting to make love under moonlight and what not. Not that Arthur was complaining he loved their trysts very much and wouldn't want to give it up for the world, if he had to suffer through the risk of his eyes getting burned someday then so be it.

Arthur heard Merlin's rustling and smacking of his lips before he turned and opened his eyes to the sight of his lover slowly coming into the land of the waking and smiled unguarded, it was one of the sights Arthur enjoyed the most as he was almost always awake before Merlin was to bestow a kiss on that gorgeous full lips when Merlin opened his eyes everyday. Merlin slowly brought up his hand to rub his eyes before he opened bright blue eyes that looked sleepy and then confused before he turned and saw Arthur.

Arthur who was himself half sleepy at the moment did not notice the utmost confusion in the blue eyes and who could blame him he was rather distracted by Merlin's delicious mouth as he bent towards Merlin who backed up instantly and promptly fell off the bed. Arthur a bit miffed about his welcome to their daily routine said "Must you be so clumsy so early in the morning?"

Merlin looked about ready to panic and run before he asked "Where...where am I?" in a raspy voice.

Arthur snorted before getting up and moving around the bedpost to take a look at Merlin, Merlin was wiry enough to wound himself from falling off the bed after all. "What do you mean by 'where am I?', your in my chambers of course!"

Merlin frowned and looked around the immaculate room once more before saying "Why am I in your chambers?"

Arthur rolled his eyes as he flopped to the ground close to Merlin and put his hand on Merlin's head inspecting as he said "Have you managed to hit your head from that fall? Honestly Merlin, you're the most unbalanced idiot I've ever known!"

As Arthur was certain there were no bumps to be worrisome he decided that Merlin was just being an idiot as usual when Merlin asked "How do you know my name?"

Arthur looked up at that and sighed looking to the heavens for a minute, "Oh I don't know Merlin because you've been my manservant in Camelot for four years!" he wanted to add friend and lover to the list but Merlin was being too irritating today for him to care about his manners, first denying his morning kiss and then falling off the bed and making him worry and acting like an idiot of enormous proportions even surpassing his usual standards.

"Camelot?" Merlin asked in wonder and bafflement before realizing what that meant for people like him and then his look turned to one of fear as he moved away from Arthur looking like a scared rabbit about to be hunted. Arthur wanted to pretend the fear in Merlin's eyes didn't hurt him but it did as he moved forward an inch and Merlin backed up even more. Arthur ran his hands through his hair and wondered what on earth was wrong with Merlin today as Merlin who couldn't contain his panic anymore blurted out, "Who are you? Why am I in...in Camelot?"

Arthur looked scared himself now as he looked straight into Merlin's eyes and saw the fear, confusion and out of all no recognition which made something inside him clench as his eyes shut of it's own accord, Merlin could not remember him, Merlin did not know who he was and it felt worse than a punch to his gut as he got up on shaky legs and said "I will ask the guards to bring Gaius, your obviously not feeling well." Arthur wanted to believe it but the look of utter bereavement Merlin gave him made him stumble as he walked to the door and told one of the guards to ask Gaius to come immediately.

Arthur paced back and forth before Merlin's stomach growled and Arthur turned back to Merlin who was looking at him, cheeks and those ridiculously large ears tinged with red in embarrassment. "I'll ask a servant to bring our breakfast once Gaius examines you; I'd forgotten what a ravenous apatite you have in the morning!"

Merlin looked unsure and crinkled his forehead for a moment before he asked "You haven't told me who you are yet..."

Arthur grit his teeth and clenched his fists before saying "I'm Arthur...King Arthur..."

"Your...wow..your the king..." Merlin asked in wonderment and Arthur almost smiled thinking of how to Merlin it never seemed to matter that he was king and finally when Merlin acknowledged his position it had to be when he was like this.

There was a knock on his door and Arthur went to open it as he wanted to inform Gaius of Merlin's condition to prepare the old man a little, after all Merlin was like a son to Gaius and Arthur always got the disapproving eyebrow turned on him when Merlin was limping just a bit after their sometimes enthusiastic trysts.

"Sire, you called for me?" asked Gaius as Arthur nodded his head and looked back into the room where Merlin was trying and failing to untangle himself from the sheets.

Arthur turned back to Gaius, "Yes Gaius, its Merlin...he doesn't seem to remember who I am or that he lives in Camelot." Arthur kept his face impassive as he said it but good lord did it hurt to know Merlin didn't recognize him, seemed to fear him even.

Gaius gasped audibly before he entered the room and took in Merlin's ruffled state, "My dear boy, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"

Merlin stopped trying to pull at the sheets ineffectively and looked at Gaius as he asked "Do I know you?" in a rather cheeky voice.

"Of course you do Merlin; I'm your uncle after all"

"Ah yes, you're a physician, mother has told me about you..." said Merlin frowning up at Gaius as the physician examined his head much the same way Arthur had earlier.

"Hunith was a dear friend of mine"

Merlin smiled at that feeling safe with the physician as he said "Why are you examining me, I feel fine"

Arthur sighed from his place at the windowsill as he asked "Whats wrong with him Gaius? Why can't he remember?"

Gaius looked on uncertainly at Merlin before he said "I'm afraid I do not know sire, there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong with him, perhaps he hit his head hard somewhere..."

Arthur shook his head saying, "He remembered me yesterday night Gaius, he was fine until he woke up this morning and didn't remember...I can only assume.."

Merlin butted into their conversation as he would any other day and said "What? What don't I remember?"

Gaius frowned at Merlin before saying "Your life in Camelot Merlin"

Arthur continued saying "I can only assume sorcery is behind this."

Merlin was immediately on his guard at the mention of sorcery and kept looking between Arthur and Gaius. Gaius gave him a harsh stare that communicated to Merlin to keep quiet as Gaius said "We cannot be so quick to judge sire, I still haven't examined him completely."

"But it makes sense for Morgana to do something like this..."

"We cannot be certain until we have examined him properly Sire."

"It's my fault...I should never have brought Merlin into this fight..." said Arthur looking sadly out of the window into the courtyard below, "She will stop at nothing to destroy all those whom I hold dear...I should have known better!"

Gaius squeezed Merlin's shoulder before he got up and moved towards Arthur shaking his head and putting his hand on Arthur's shoulder before whispering "You know Merlin would lay down his life for you Arthur, he would not want it any other way...despite these dark times you both above all deserve to be happy."

"I cannot live with myself if something happened to him because of me."

"I know Arthur but Merlin is stronger than you think, we will find a way to bring his memories back Arthur."

"Excuse me, I hate to be a disturbance but I can't seem to get these off!" said Merlin as both Gaius and Arthur turned to see him hopping on one foot and trying to extricate himself from the intricate tangles of the sheets around his body. Both Gaius and Arthur smirked at each other before looking at the ever hopeless Merlin.

"Atleast you haven't seemed to have forgotten your clumsiness Merlin!" said Arthur as he took pity and pulled the sheets off of Merlin's body in one pull which caused Merlin to stumble and fall right into Arthur's waiting arms. Merlin now seemed to realise he wasn't wearing a shirt and blushed bright red as he stared up at Arthur through innocent blue eyes making Arthur want to pull Merlin closer and kiss those luscious lips far too sinful and tempting for a man.

Gaius cleared his throat then and Merlin stepped back looking unsure and bringing his hands to cross over his chest making Arthur look on in amusement before Gaius handed him a shirt which Merlin hastily put on.

"If that will be all sire, I'd like to take Merlin with me to examine him in my room."

Arthur wanted to protest, he did not want to leave Merlin when he looked so vulnerable and unsure of himself but he knew if he could trust anyone to take care of Merlin and keep him out of trouble it must be Gaius so he nodded his head as Gaius pulled Merlin away from the room looking on forlornly. If Morgana was behind this, he was going to kill her when he saw her next for sure this time.

Gaius closed the door to his chambers before he rounded on Merlin saying "I cannot believe the amount of trouble you seem to get yourself into on a daily basis, if you keep going like this Merlin I am going to get a heart attack sooner or later!"

Merlin looked like a child who had been told off by his mother to keep his hands off the cookie jar and said "I'm sorry..." uncertainly which made Gaius blow out a breath in exasperation.

"Though for once it is not actually your fault, it must have been Morgana!"

"Who's Morgana?"

"She's a witch, an evil one who has sworn to take the throne of Camelot."

"Oh...but why would she enchant me to forget my life in Camelot?"

Gaius frowned, "I do not know for sure but I can only assume she knows you are Emrys and knows of your powers."

"I'm not Emrys...I'm Merlin and I don't know what powers your talking about..." said Merlin trying and failing to sound convincing.

Gaius cuffed Merlin on the back of his head affectionately before saying, "Don't try to lie to me Merlin, I'll always sniff out the truth!"

Merlin looked chagrined for a moment before saying "So you know about my powers..."

"Of course I do, I am your guardian in Camelot!"

"But magic is...it's outlawed in Camelot and your not...the King..."

"Ah, your magic is a secret known only to the two of us and Sir Lancelot; we must keep it that way at all costs Merlin!" Gaius said giving Merlin an unrelenting glare.

Merlin sighed and nodded his head, doubts, confusions and questions rising up in him like a tide, "How long have I lived in Camelot?"

Gaius smiled, "Your mother sent you to me when you were eighteen years old, and you have been in Camelot for four years now."

"My mother sent me? Here to Camelot knowing of the risks?"

"She trusted I could keep you safe and I have for this long although the occasional slip up might occur."

"Emrys...why do you think I'm Emrys?"

"You are the most powerful sorcerer of the age Merlin; the druids call you by the name Emrys."

Merlin nodded his head numbly trying to get it all in and trying to make some sense out of the information, how could someone make him forget four years of his life he did not understand and to be honest, he was scared.

"What I don't understand is why me? Why did Morgana choose to target me?"

"Because she knows you're the only one standing in her way, your destiny is to protect Arthur and she sees you as a threat that must be eliminated in order for her to take the throne of Camelot and kill Arthur."

"My destiny is to protect Arthur?" asked Merlin incredulously, "He's a warrior and a King, why would he need my protection?"

"You have saved his life more times than I can count Merlin, his weapons and skills are no match to magic."

"I used my magic to save someone who would have me executed if he knew my true powers, just what kind of an idiot am I?" asked Merlin outraged and disbelieving.

"Merlin, Arthur would never see harm come to you." Gaius said with utmost conviction although he was concerned about Merlin's attitude towards his destiny.

"How do you know that? How do I know that? Why would I risk my life for someone who would see me dead for what I am?" asked Merlin and Gaius remained quiet for a long while before he said "Arthur would not see you dead Merlin, he would die protecting you if he had the choice."

"There's something your not telling me...me being a powerful warlock wasn't the only reason this Morgana chose me was it?"

Gaius sighed and shook his head, "No, it isn't the only reason."

"Then what is it? Why do you believe King Arthur would not have me executed?"

"That is for Arthur to reveal" is all Gaius said before ushering Merlin into his old chambers and starting to tell him about his life in Camelot.

It was night time before Arthur could get out of his duties as a king to go visit Merlin, usually he would straight to his chambers because he knew Merlin would be there with his bright eyes and cheerful smile that made Arthur fall in love with him a little more with every passing day.

Knocking Gaius's chambers he entered and found Gaius sat with his head bent over a book, when he saw Arthur Gaius acknowledged him with a nod of his head. "How is he Gaius?"

"He's fine my lord, sleeping at the moment."

"Did you determine the cause of his memory loss?" asked Arthur and Gaius closed the heavy tome in his hands and nodded looking grave.

"It is as you feared sire, someone has enchanted him to loose his memory."

"Morgana..." Arthur said with certainty as he clenched his fists wanting to pound something in his anger and frustration.

"She certainly has the power to wield such strong black magic."

"Will she ever stop tormenting me?"

"Is there a way to reverse the spell? Can we make him remember?"

"I do not know if it was a spell or some other form of magic sire, once I find out what the exact enchantment is I must be able to find a remedy!"

"I need him to remember Gaius, I cannot loose him!"

"I will do everything in my power to bring his memories back sire."

Arthur nodded his head before asking "Can I see him?"

"Of course Arthur, he's sleeping in his old room."

Arthur opened the door to Merlin's room and found him sound asleep on the bed, his face peaceful and his lips forming a small pout. Arthur smiled despite himself wondering if he'd ever tire of Merlin's ethereal beauty before he closed the door and climbed down to face Gaius once again.

"Do you think I should tell anyone Gaius? About Merlin's condition?"

"That is for you to decide sire, if Morgana has planned to alienate him from us all then it would be wise to tell your most trusted knights about the matter."

"Is that what Morgana wants? I cannot understand her motives for making Merlin loose his memories!"

"She knows Merlin means a great deal to you sire and she's desperate to use anything to get to you."

"Well whatever she is planning will not come to pass. I think Lancelot, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan, Leon and Gwen must know..."

"Sire..." Gaius hesitated before saying, "I think you must be the one to tell Merlin that you have made him your consort. He wouldn't appreciate it if someone else were to spring it on him."

Arthur cleared his throat awkwardly before murmuring "Yes Gaius, I will let him know tomorrow."

Tomorrow dawned too early and Arthur already missed Merlin's form close to him as he woke up and let another servant attend to his needs. He was quite nervous about meeting Merlin today and letting him know of their relationship. He wished Merlin remembered him atleast from their old days together when he was always calling Arthur a prat and they could barely tolerate each other. How did you tell a person you loved them with all your heart when they did not even have the faintest memory of you?

Arthur knocked twice before entering Merlin's room to find him dressed in his servant clothes that Arthur had him replace when he made Merlin his consort. He could only imagine the gossip this will raise if anyone saw Merlin dressed in his servant attire once more but he made himself remember that Merlin did not know, thanks to his evil sister.

"King Arthur…" Merlin stood up to greet him and Arthur would have appreciated the deferent bow any other time from anyone else but not from Merlin, especially when it was not a mock bow at all but was rather formal and aloof.

Arthur sighed and said "Sit Merlin, you hardly need to address me with such deference."

Merlin looked confused but sat anyway saying, "I'm your servant sire, I thought it was expected of me to be deferent."

"Well you never were one to follow the rules now, where you? You went around calling me all manner of disgraceful things around my most trusted knights even."

Merlin looked flabbergasted, like he couldn't imagine himself being so.

"However to be fair, most of the time you were right to berate me and I wouldn't have you any other way." Arthur smiled and pulled a stool to sit closer to Merlin who tried not to squirm away.

"Merlin, I know that you're confused and frustrated and this is all a lot to take in but you should know why Morgana targeted you in particular."

Merlin now looked attentive as Arthur said "Merlin, Morgana intends to hurt me whichever way she can and she knew the best way to get to me was by getting to you…" Arthur slowly pulled Merlin's hands in his own and pressed a kiss to it as he said "I love you Merlin" looking straight into Merlin's eyes and Merlin gasped as Arthur closed his eyes and continued not letting go of Merlin's hand yet "you are my consort and that is why Morgana seeks to hurt you" Arthur swallowed and a scowl formed on his face as he said "She knows that loosing you would break me completely and that is why she chose you."

"King Arthur…"

Arthur put his finger on Merlin's petal soft lips as he said "Just Arthur to you..."

Merlin nodded and Arthur withdrew and framed Merlin's face in his hands as he gazed upon with bittersweet memories of their times together, he could not fathom that Merlin forgot everything, Merlin was the one who always kept him grounded, was always there for him when he fell, was the other half of his soul, seeing the blank confusion on Merlin's face made him sigh and he said "We will get your memories back Merlin, I promise you, no matter what it takes."

Merlin could hardly believe that a mighty king of Camelot could love a peasant like him, it just didn't happen and he was a boy for god's sake, wasn't it against the rules of the universe or something but seeing Arthur looking at him Merlin knew that the King was saying the truth. Merlin wondered if he had returned Arthur's feelings just as sincerely, wondered if he'd loved Arthur the same way.

"Don't think too much" Arthur said to Merlin before he got up and walked swiftly away from the room leaving Merlin even more confused and bewildered than he was yesterday.

**TBC in the next part…..**

**I would love reviews so long as you aren't flaming me!**


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